The T.O.C Talk Podcast with Dr. Dwan Bryant

Shrinking Thinking: When You Make Yourself Smaller Than You Were Created to Be

Season 4 Episode 12

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0:00 | 17:08

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Have you ever walked into a room feeling confident only to start questioning yourself the moment someone else began to shine?

Have you ever delayed a dream, silenced your voice, or talked yourself out of an opportunity because comparison convinced you that someone else was more qualified, talented, or deserving?

If so, this episode is for you.

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Dwan Bryant explores the concept of Shrinking Thinking—the habit of minimizing your value, shrinking your voice, and doubting your contribution when faced with another person's success, confidence, or gifts.

Drawing from a personal experience early in her speaking journey, Dr. Bryant shares how comparison can distort perspective and cause us to retreat from the very spaces we were called to occupy.

But what if the issue isn't that you're unqualified?

What if you've simply forgotten that your assignment is different from everyone else's?

In this episode, you'll discover:

What You'll Learn:

  • What shrinking thinking is and how it shows up in everyday life
  • Why comparison often causes women to pull back from opportunities
  • The difference between confidence and courage
  • How postponement can become a hidden form of fear
  • Why your unique story, experiences, and perspective matter
  • Practical ways to stop shrinking and start showing up fully

Key Takeaways:

✔ Someone else's success is not evidence of your failure.

✔ Confidence is often built in motion, not before it.

✔ Your assignment is different from everyone else's.

✔ You do not need permission to take up space.

✔ The room doesn't need another version of her—it needs you.

Reflection Questions:

  1. Where in your life are you shrinking?
  2. What opportunity have you been postponing because you don't feel ready?
  3. Whose journey have you been comparing yours to?
  4. What would change if you trusted your own assignment?
  5. What is one courageous step you can take this week?

Quote from the Episode:

"You don't have to shrink so someone else can shine. There is room for both of you."

Continue Your Becoming H.E.R. Journey

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with another woman who may be struggling with comparison, self-doubt, or the fear of not being enough.

And if you're ready to heal from comparison and embrace your own becoming, pick up a copy of:

I'll Have What She's Having: A Novel About Women Leading, Loving, and Celebrating Sisterhood

Because Becoming H.E.R.™ isn't about becoming someone else.

It's about becoming fully who you were created to be.

Connect with Dr. Dwan Bryant

Website: DrDwanBryant.com

Author of I'll Have What She's Having

Podcast: TOC Talk: Table of Confidence

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1 Peter 4:10 - "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms." (NIV)